NFL Top 10 Truth Rankings Week 4

  1. Texans (4-0) n/a – For the record: I had them at #1 during Week 2. That is all.
  2. Falcons (4-0) +3 – If your helmet has a bird sticker on it… you’re doing alright. Performances were a virtual toss-up between the Falcons and Ravens, edge goes to the undefeated team ’round these parts (I’ll back track on this a little later). I told you M. Ryan was going to be a MVP candidate before this game and now everyone is copying me. To further solidify this, I have proof I picked up Matty on WAIVERS to be my starter well before Week 1 started. Greatest waiver pickup this season. This is the greatest sports blog in the world. More at #3.
  3. Ravens (3-1) n/a – The Falcons and Ravens shared hairy wins against divisional “foes”. The only question is, are the Browns really that much worse than the Panthers? This is a real question. Nah, just kidding but here’s some RT: The Ravens are ranked 30th in the league in penalties taken. They had over 100 yards in penalties on Thursday compared to the Falcons (league leaders) with a mere two.  Dirty birds they ain’t no more.
  4. 49ers (3-1) n/a – Not a whole lot of movement up top this week. Some questioned the Jets at #8 last week. It was a “pity placement”, I was just trying to be nice. We try to be light-hearted here at Sports with JDK. If your owner is actually going out in public places fantasizing about a Romney presidency, and you’re Mexican, well, sucks to be you. I know I’m speaking for all Mexicans when I say “if you have a white owner” but you know which one I’m talking about.
  5. Cardinals (4-0) n/a – Everyone’s power rankings across the nation have the Top 5 virtually identical… to mine. Should the Cards be higher than the 49ers? Yeah… sure.
  6. Chargers (3-1) NEW – For some reason, I scrubbed them out last week. I’ll be honest and tell you I just forgot they existed. Pity placement because I don’t see them coming back to the Top 10 the rest of the year. They’re the Chargers and it’s that firework popping AFC West… no one gives a shit.
  7. Packers (2-2) n/a – “Their season is over! What’s the point of playing they’re going to lose a tie-breaker anyway.” OK?
  8. Eagles (3-1) NEW – Yes, this team isn’t complete shit but the fact of the matter is all three wins so far have been by luck. Pure luck. Sometimes, it’s better to be lucky than good. Sometimes, you’re an Andy Reid apologist most of your life and wake up to the fact you’re the idiot. All of Eagle nation going delusional about how great this game was up and down. Better drink my own piss.
  9. Patriots (2-2) NEW– What did I say last week?
  10. Bengals (3-1) NEW – “We’ll play anyone besides the Ravens.  Anyone besides them, please.” – from last week

No snub list this week. How about an outlook instead? The first quarter of the season is done with and the two biggest “surprises” are the Cards and Vikings are on top of their divisions. I hate these “ya know, teams that start 1-2 or 2-2 only have a 2% chance of making the playoffs” graphics you see every five minutes on TV. As long as your team is capable of ripping a four to five game winning streak at some point this season, you’ve set yourself up for success. Hell, you can lose four games in a row while playing like white dog poo from the 70’s and you’re guaranteed a Lombardi trophy (G-Men I’m talking). It’s all week-to-week within The Shield and that’s why the standings are irrelevant so early on. So if you’re a Packer fan, shut the fuck up. If you’re a Patriots fan, shut the fuck up. If you’re a Lions fan, your mouth was sewn shut two weeks ago. If you’re an Eagles fan, let’s not forget this team, honestly, hasn’t done shit in the past five years or, hell, decade. Why do we keep sucking this team’s cock like they’ve done something? We’ve done as much as the Seahawks, Cardinals and Bears since our first Super Bowl appearance in a century. You’re loud and proud about this shit?

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