NFL fans: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Lot of talk this week about the Victor Cruz/Calvin Johnson TDs.  Everyone shut the fuck up ’cause you’re coming off like a complete idiot:

1 – Victor Cruz had a legal TD no matter what Mike Pereira says.  Did you know Mike Pereira actually flip-flopped on this?  He initially said Cruz had a TD, then “reversed” his decision.  Mike Pereira, shut the fuck up.

2 – Calvin Johnson DID NOT HAVE A LEGAL TD.  SHUT THE FUCK UP.

3 – Calvin Johnson is the highest paid receiver in NFL history.  History.  Highest paid.  $132 million.  The ENTIRE RULE IS NAMED AFTER HIM.  A fucking professional getting paid NINE FUCKING FIGURES should KNOW THE RULE THAT IS NAMED AFTER HIM.  Otherwise, he’s a fucking dumbass.  Detroit, shut the fuck up.

4 – We’re talking about two plays out of a trillion over the entire weekend.  Two fucking plays, both  correctly called anyway.  Two fucking plays that weren’t in the same TIME ZONE… two fucking plays that DIDN’T FACTOR into the outcome of the game…. TWO FUCKING PLAYS THAT DIDN’T MATTER AT ALL.  These kinds of close calls are actually MUCH RARER than a lot of people realize.  When was the last time this shit was even brought up?  Oh yeah, three fucking years ago when the Calvin Johnson rule was established.  THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO.  How many Pass Interferences, hitting a defenseless receiver, missed holdings, the entire SF/GB bungle (scab refs… oh wait, no they ain’t.  lol scab refs lol) … how many plays did the refs missed THIS WEEKEND THAT MATTERED?  A lot.  Shut the fuck up.

TWO INCONSEQUENTIAL PLAYS… ONE INCLUDING A MAN THAT SHOULD KNOW THE RULE NAMED AFTER HIM HE BANKRUPTED DETROIT… SHUT THE FUCK UP.

NFL Top 10 Truth Rankings Week 4

  1. Texans (4-0) n/a – For the record: I had them at #1 during Week 2. That is all.
  2. Falcons (4-0) +3 – If your helmet has a bird sticker on it… you’re doing alright. Performances were a virtual toss-up between the Falcons and Ravens, edge goes to the undefeated team ’round these parts (I’ll back track on this a little later). I told you M. Ryan was going to be a MVP candidate before this game and now everyone is copying me. To further solidify this, I have proof I picked up Matty on WAIVERS to be my starter well before Week 1 started. Greatest waiver pickup this season. This is the greatest sports blog in the world. More at #3.
  3. Ravens (3-1) n/a – The Falcons and Ravens shared hairy wins against divisional “foes”. The only question is, are the Browns really that much worse than the Panthers? This is a real question. Nah, just kidding but here’s some RT: The Ravens are ranked 30th in the league in penalties taken. They had over 100 yards in penalties on Thursday compared to the Falcons (league leaders) with a mere two.  Dirty birds they ain’t no more.
  4. 49ers (3-1) n/a – Not a whole lot of movement up top this week. Some questioned the Jets at #8 last week. It was a “pity placement”, I was just trying to be nice. We try to be light-hearted here at Sports with JDK. If your owner is actually going out in public places fantasizing about a Romney presidency, and you’re Mexican, well, sucks to be you. I know I’m speaking for all Mexicans when I say “if you have a white owner” but you know which one I’m talking about.
  5. Cardinals (4-0) n/a – Everyone’s power rankings across the nation have the Top 5 virtually identical… to mine. Should the Cards be higher than the 49ers? Yeah… sure.
  6. Chargers (3-1) NEW – For some reason, I scrubbed them out last week. I’ll be honest and tell you I just forgot they existed. Pity placement because I don’t see them coming back to the Top 10 the rest of the year. They’re the Chargers and it’s that firework popping AFC West… no one gives a shit.
  7. Packers (2-2) n/a – “Their season is over! What’s the point of playing they’re going to lose a tie-breaker anyway.” OK?
  8. Eagles (3-1) NEW – Yes, this team isn’t complete shit but the fact of the matter is all three wins so far have been by luck. Pure luck. Sometimes, it’s better to be lucky than good. Sometimes, you’re an Andy Reid apologist most of your life and wake up to the fact you’re the idiot. All of Eagle nation going delusional about how great this game was up and down. Better drink my own piss.
  9. Patriots (2-2) NEW– What did I say last week?
  10. Bengals (3-1) NEW – “We’ll play anyone besides the Ravens.  Anyone besides them, please.” – from last week

No snub list this week. How about an outlook instead? The first quarter of the season is done with and the two biggest “surprises” are the Cards and Vikings are on top of their divisions. I hate these “ya know, teams that start 1-2 or 2-2 only have a 2% chance of making the playoffs” graphics you see every five minutes on TV. As long as your team is capable of ripping a four to five game winning streak at some point this season, you’ve set yourself up for success. Hell, you can lose four games in a row while playing like white dog poo from the 70’s and you’re guaranteed a Lombardi trophy (G-Men I’m talking). It’s all week-to-week within The Shield and that’s why the standings are irrelevant so early on. So if you’re a Packer fan, shut the fuck up. If you’re a Patriots fan, shut the fuck up. If you’re a Lions fan, your mouth was sewn shut two weeks ago. If you’re an Eagles fan, let’s not forget this team, honestly, hasn’t done shit in the past five years or, hell, decade. Why do we keep sucking this team’s cock like they’ve done something? We’ve done as much as the Seahawks, Cardinals and Bears since our first Super Bowl appearance in a century. You’re loud and proud about this shit?

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NFL Top 10 Truth Rankings Week 3

  1. Texans (3-0) - : Told ya they were the best team in the NFL. They continue to be through Week 3. God Tier in all three phases. First 3-0 start in franchise history, would ya look at that.
  2. Giants (2-1) +1 :  Don’t act like you didn’t pick the Panthers for TNF. G-Men made all of us look pretty dumb. Thursday showcased the Panthers’ shortcomings more than the Giant’s fortitude. An awful display by Carolina.
  3. Ravens (2-1) +3 :  Say what you will about the scabs on this one but the Patriots were really reaching in the secondary most of this game. The Ravens looked and played better all-around there wasn’t much denying that. Did I mentioned the girl sitting in front of me at the season opener had the greatest ass? Under Armour pants all day, bebe. Gotta love Body More.
  4. 49ers (2-1) -2 : Tell me Frank Gore’s going to average 5 yards a carry in any game and I’ll tell you San Fran has it in the bag. The play calling personnel apparently figured Ponder wasn’t going to do shit and Harbaugh fucked this game all up despite being rewarded for it in the final minutes. It’s the new modern day NFL, guys.
  5. Falcons (3-0)+3 : The jury’s back and Matt Ryan’s making his early MVP case. Did I just say that? You can see it coming with just a few more dominating performances. Did I just say that? A relatively easy schedule will aide him.
  6. Cardinals (3-0) +4 : The defense is tearing through assholes (not just Vick) left and right . Their talented defense is making up for the severe deficiencies on offense through three weeks. Biggest jump on the list but it’s only inevitable before something breaks.
  7. Packers (2-1) -4 : Where to begin. You know what happened. It was bedlam. Regardless, Jennings needed to swat the shit out of that ball. The actual story coming out of this game was it’s inexcusable that four DB’s even allowed G. Tate to get a single finger on a Hail Mary. Green Bay. It wasn’t the refs, guys.
  8. Jets (2-1) n/a : With D. Revis now done for the season, this is more of a pity placement more than anything. Still believe the drama will ultimately overshadow them.
  9. Cowboys (2-1) n/a :  Did I ever mention how hard my dick gets when Wilbon goes “How ’bout dem KAH-boys?!”
  10. Bears (2-1) n/a : They’re going to be hovering over the line most of this season. They are definitely a good team… just not that good. Next week when they lose to the Boys, they’ll be snubbed. Fast forward after a Week 5 win over monsters Jacksonville… they’re back on the list. Up and down, classic Cutler.

Notable snubs:

Bengals (2-1) – We’ll play anyone besides the Ravens.  Anyone besides them, please.

Vikings (2-1) – They were on the short list.  Their first two games of the season came down to nail-biters against non-conference opponents. Knocked off last week’s #2 with relatively ease. Something may be brewing here.

Bills (2-1) – The CJ Spiller injury isn’t as much of a set-back as you would think. Let’s not forget they’ve won more games than lost without him in the equation.

Patriots (1-2) – If Tom Brady is healthy and The Hood makes it to the stadium OK, they always have a fighting chance. The reports of the Patriots death have been greatly exaggerated. They’ll make their triumphant return to the Top 10 soon enough.

Eagles (2-1) – Jesus Christ. I’m going to leave it at that for now.

Who should be MVP? Woody Paige knows.

Miguel Cabrera added another home run tonight. As of writing he is just one behind AL leader Josh Hamilton (42), who is scratched for Texas against “Los Angeles”. Cabrera, as of writing, also leads the AL in RBI’s and AVG. He is on the doorstep of the Triple Crown and banging on the door.

The discussion of possibly having the first Triple Crown King in 45 years needs to be louder. It needs to be boisterous. It needs every single baseball fan’s undivided attention. Why isn’t it? One name: Mike Trout. Don’t believe me? Here is an excerpt from today’s Around the Horn (lead discussion) where Woody Paige had an amazing moment of clarity and sense:

 Stat Boy: “Is it possible Cabrera has caught Trout? Possible he could win the TC? Possible the TC isn’t the TC anymore?

Bomani: “The only problem is it doesn’t really make you MVP.”

Woody: “Oh, Bo, you are so wrong.”

Smith: “Defense and base running also matter in baseball. Mike Trout is the best player and the most valuable player in the AL this year. It’s not even an argument.”

Gutierrez: “I still think Trout is still the front runner regardless if Cabrera wins the Triple Crown.”

Woody: “RBI’s mean a lot more than stolen bases.”

Smith: “WAR encompasses everythang. Quit talking bad about WAR, Woody.”

I’d like to add that Buster Olney’s also voting for Mike Trout. He registers an actual vote so this matters.

If you’re inept, wearing the crown means you led your respective league in AVG, HR and RBI’s over the course of one season. Read that again. It means you lead the league in hitting a baseball the best. It means you lead the league in hitting that same baseball over a green padded fence the most. It also means you sent more men to home plate than anyone else. You did this in a game called “baseball” where you can realistically only win if you hit the damn thing and send more men home to the plate than the other team. It means you’re the fucking man and you’re the fucking Most Valuable Player.

Let’s scratch more than this totally lame surface. Most sabermetrician in today’s era of ball just don’t see these stats as important. They believe how many web gems you accrue is more important. They like to think hypothetical stats and fucking GAME THEORY is the the true testament of one’s skill, not what you actually physically do. They’ll argue that Teddy Ballgame won the crown in ’47 only to lose the MVP to Joe DiMaggio.  They also like to leave out the part that was the first year we allowed black people to play so perhaps the voting panel wasn’t the brightest bunch. You can even look at DiMaggio’s stats… they were fucking horrid compared to Williams.

I’ll treat you with an ESPN Insider excerpt:

“On the other hand, Trout could be thought of as Aaron Rodgers, Chris Johnson, Clay Matthews and Darrelle Revis all rolled into one player.”

I actually pay the WWL to read this garbage.  Buster Olney is going to vote for “the other guy” because he’s, like, totally the MLB’s version of a Pro Bowl team. What the fuck does that even mean?!

Who gives a shit if Mickey Mantle’s ghost is playing center field in “Los Angeles” this season? We’ve already seen two instances of specters in the outfield. Hell, in 1994 the Angels themselves fielded an entire team of ‘em.

Needs all the help he can get.

We’ve already seen this shit, it’s old hat. Seeing a TC winner is rarer than seeing a ghost donning stirrups. Doesn’t that tell you something about this Triple Crown thing?

I don’t have anything against the young Fish. I was there in Camden Yards when he did this:

I wuz there.

I have physically bared witnessed to his greatness. I can’t deny he’s a great ball player. He deserves the Rookie of the Year award, Silver Slugger and a Gold Glove. That’s a lot of hardware. His WAR is definitely out of control. He deserves many accolades and praise… just not the MVP (at this point).

Let’s not forget this is a lot of talk contingent on something that has not yet happened.  And they both play for teams currently not sitting in playoff spots.  2 weeks from now, I’m sure the MVP race will be a heaping mess but Trout’s still going to win anyway.  The hard-ons for the kid are too stiff… they aren’t going flaccid anytime soon. The only woody not sprung is Paige and I’m on his side so take that for what’s it worth.

NFL Top 10 Truth Rankings (aka Power)

I started a week late.  Get over it.

2012 NFL Top 10 Truth Rankings (Week 2)

  1. Texans (2-0) – Surprised? Look, Matt Schaub is better than Joe Flacco, Alex Smith, Matt Ryan, Jay Cutler… he’s better than most. Arian Foster is always #1. If you haven’t noticed, their defense IS the best in the league. This team can do pretty much do what it wants when it wants on both sides. They’re automatically in the play-offs due to their division so they can keep focused on games that actually matter.
  2. 49ers (2-0) – It is almost a toss-up here between these two. If the Texans O is an A+, the Niners are an A-. They toyed with the Lions. It was like Toy Story 4 & 5 out there in Candlestick. This team is going American Bad-Ass on us in front of our eyes (rollin’, rollin’, rollin’).
  3. Giants (1-1) – Guys, they were only down by 11 going into the fourth.  Against Tampa Bay.  Still, that’s a hell of a performance when you need it from your Super Bowl MVP.
  4. Packers (1-1) – Shook off an embarrassing home loss by dismantling a cocky Chicago squad. They only lost to the best team in the NFC on Day 1… cut them a break.
  5. Eagles (2-0) – A lot of people, even Philly fans, will say this is too high. Well, more wins than losses are still pretty important.  That’s really all they got. I don’t usually factor the refs in the decision, but I have to admit this game was officiated horribly. If it wasn’t for the MNF disaster, this was easily the worst one. Vick and Andy… turn the light switch on… please.
  6. Ravens (1-1) – They needed this win way more than the Eagles. For them, it was a statement game. I’ve been saying all along for the Eagles: this was a survival game. Can they survive 4-5 Vick turnovers? I usually don’t factor ref ineptitude in a game… but this was one was way too bad not to notice.
  7. Steelers (1-1) – I thought they were washed up. I didn’t think they had any kind of running game. They showed me up. OK, Pittsburgh, I see you.
  8. Falcons (2-0) – It was a debacle to watch. When you are gifted 4 turnovers in the 1st quarter… you need to come away with more than 10. That’s pathetic. Game should have been over by half-time. Jury is still out on Matthew Ice.
  9. Chargers (2-0) – So far, so good. They just need an actual test now and when Mathews is back this team only gets better.
  10. Cardinals (2-0) – I initially had them at #11.  Gotta give credit when it’s due.

Notable Snubs

Redskins (1-1) – RGIII has totally changed the makeup of the offense.  This is some serious shit here, folks.  I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they made a run for a Wildcard spot.

Patriots (1-1) – You deserve to get knocked out of the Top 10 when you allow Kevin Kolb to get more TD’s than Tom Brady. It’s just math.

Jets (1-1) – It’s clear this team gets a bit skittish and down when things aren’t going right for them. The moodiest team in the NFL. When things are going right, this team could beat anyone. When things are going wrong, they are the New York Jets.

Broncos (1-1) – What happened here? Peyton’s play held them back for the majority of this game.

Cowboys (1-1) – I was tempted to give them #10. They were an absolute mess, however and were never in that game.

Bears – (1-1) Nothing went right on TNF. Not one single thing. Jay Cutler, also.

And why the fuck is Rick Reilly even near the Monday Night set?  A club box at the Georgia Dome is like stepping into a Shell gas station for a man of his stature.

NHL Lockout

It just doesn’t make any sense, guys.

Pilot #1 Teaser

The real deal.

Coming within days.  @sportswithjdk

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